With tranquility, but with concentration, like watching a beautiful game unfold before my eyes. Once again, it is only time that will tell me. I am awaiting the rest of them to make their own decisions, which will guide my path. Obviously this affects little what I will do in reality, they are merely words which are imprinted and have a longer term impact, I have to make the decisions which affect me physically, but still it seems like they are the ones holding the key.

So many times, convincing others of worth, be that whichever value type affects you (monetary, metaphysical, spiritual etc.), is only dependent on words. Those words might be written or spoken, but in the end they are always delivered by you as a promise to deliver value. Again, what value you deserve to be given depends on how well you deliver the promise and not on what you actually deliver. Only a market seller actually demands a price for his fixed goods, but once that has fallen on the floor it is devalued, despite its constituent materials still being the same.

When do I start to say that my work has been sullied on the pavement? When do I ask for a fixed price? It is absurd to think that I could ask for a proportional price for my work based on the amount of hours I have put in (unless I was to sell it once and once only). As soon as I sell to more than one person the work has a value between nothing, when everyone owns it, and previously as nothing, when nobody owns it.

Finishing this album is like trying to tame a lion with a teaspoon, very easy when I have it under control and easier to abandon when I don’t. I guess I’m finding easier working methods but still finding limitations in technologies and still dreaming of a purer integration.

I suppose after having been here for a year I should feel settled, but I had second thoughts about staying here, and was tempted to move again and try yet another place, probably after a friend’s suggestion that I should try as many new places as I can (at least whilst I’m young).

Today was the carnival/mardi gras for Manchester’s pride festival, and it was truly massive. Floats with cavorting elders, queens, sailor boys, neo-nazi leather-trousered tatooed butch men, people dressed to the nines, whistles at every opportunity, ridiculously loud music ranging from the cheesiest gay anthems to hardcore dance. Generally a very gay affair (in all senses).

I’m also working on a new piece for If Version Linger, and we’re going to go touring in the Autumn/Winter with They Destroyed His Image. The new scoring style works extremely well, at least in terms of visual appeal, and is becoming easier to read. I just hope it’s as intuitive as it appears to me, then at least it’s worth the time and effort spent on it. The hope is that at some point we’ll be able to dispense with the scores, or at least have a very reduced shorthand for it that we’re all au fait with, somewhat like a chart/chord sheet for learning jazz standards, or notes that a band might use for remembering repertoire.